Alice in Wonderland

pointless musings

2008-03-17T03:39:00.004+06:30

its rather strange how the human mind is so vacillating.

at one moment one feels one is the strongest person alive and can manage life pretty well. at those moments one is quintessentially a 'strong independent and mature person' and doesn't really need 'external interference'.

and then the very next moment suddenly everything seems empty, things seem to fall apart and ones 'glorious past' haunts one. then one wonders as to whether things will ever get better or not. is there any point to moving on when there is a possibility of failure all over again? there could possibly be something inherently wrong with me... and one is fraught with self-doubt.

there are times when wants to lash out at those people who have hurt you. hurt them as bad as they have done so to you. and then one realizes that that is indeed a pointless exercise. in fact everything seems rather pointless... putting in efforts for others, being nice to people, helping others, falling in love, and yeah even this blog post.

but since no one would prolly be reading it, not much is gained or lost eh?

for the sake of EXAMS....

2007-04-07T21:20:00.001+06:30

Well sometimes there's just nothing happening except EXAMS- the dreaded word... and oh then your life seems so barren and so boring and yet you know you gotta stick around with mundane studying nevertheless even though they mean very little to you. It's kind of funny though that being an English Honours student makes this period rather weird. Studying Literature can be an exhilarating as well as a frustrating experience at the same time. When you conventionally read a text you don't tend to look at anything beyond the story but here you are supposed to look at it beyond that. And while doing that can be interesting at first however trying to even remember all that is not exactly something which makes you feel so great and after a point it has anyways become slightly boring for me. However what is the best part about English and perhaps even the worst... is its unpredictability! It's completely dependent on you to make your papers a state of art work... well you must wonder what I mean by that. You see an English Honours answer sheet is not just what a conventional answer sheet is generally but you can also make it a literary piece of art along with showing how much you understand the text at different levels.... And that is perhaps why giving the paper can be actually fun. But yeah that depends on how much you are familiar with the world of Literature (well i have hardly read anything beyond my texts though this term) and can connect onto other things which you have come across.... And not all Art is great. So well it's a gamble for sure.... it depends on how well you write and present your thoughts a connective and fluid manner. And this is where one can go wrong. What if you don't do the presentation of thoughts well. So you see you are not only supposed to give all the points but also present them well, make sure each point connects with the next and leads you to an argument... Basically it's no different from Debating or Public Speaking in a way. You are there not only to say things or to tell the audience but also ensure you do it an interesting manner and also ensure that the audience doesn't lose interest whatsoever and finally they shouldn't feel you have been speaking for the sake of speaking.... ooof! But it's cool nevertheless.... Hehe... It's too early to say weather I'll be able to do it and only those three hours will tell! But till then.... Best of Luck to myself!! Lolz.... (Uh actually I am quite nervous)

Parzania

2007-01-30T20:29:00.000+06:30

Parzania… the place where the teacher lets u listen to the radio even in class... where the buildings are made of chocolate and halwa… there is no fighting between man and man…. A place where there is bliss…. in other words- Utopia. Does it exist?? The verdict: NO, it does not. It cannot. Who will let it? And who wants it to? Parzan? Our little parsi boy in the flick? Well if he would have survived and grown up… he would prefer the real world too. The real world- with its codes and its code-breakers, with the differences separating me from that poor man, the power games to master over so many others…. Isn’t this world vibrant and wonderful? A hurts B, rises over B in some way or the other and enjoys the process thoroughly and then… he decides to feel sorry for B. A wishes that there were a world where there were no differences, where everyone was happy… but does A really want it? No, just like everyone else he is just musing over the idea and then comes back to the real world. He employs his cunning, crushes a few more people and rises more.

It is just as true as the solar system being heliocentric. Much as we would like to convince ourselves that we lie in the center of the world, we know that we revolve around the sun. Similarly, we all long for Utopia…. wonder why we live in such a cruel world and even try to convince ourselves that we desire a Utopia… but no we would rather enjoy this world with its dark sadism, its stark contrasts, its misery on one hand and its joys on the other (always trying to make that misery to be the fate of all the others- not us) When the good times come, who wants to look at the dreary aspects of real life, who wants to lament over corruption or over the miseries lying in store for those who lie at the not-so-fortunate end of the spectrum. We all would rather move ahead, take advantage of whatever weaknesses we find in the system and rule at the apex of the pyramid.

And yet Parzania shows you all that you don’t want to see, all that you want to erase to obscurity and all that you would never even witness in the worst of your nightmares. You open the morning newspaper and see the cover photo- a disturbing shot which you’d rather not look at… do you ponder over those people- the victims in that ‘disturbing shot’… their lives? No you’d rather open up the Delhi Times and watch all the glitter and sheen of those glamorous celebs. Who wants to look at these downtrodden, poverty-stricken lives… this unpleasant picture of people who lie at that other end of the spectrum? And yet if you have the guts to see beyond the glitter, the desire to see the truth, you can surely go ahead and watch the flick.

You realize the extent to which voyeurism gives people happiness, and that sadism is the very basis of every human beings’ pleasure joy or whatever you might call it. It’s the thrill to stand over the other and look at him and laugh at him, that pumps you ahead, which gives you that adrenaline rush. Did you ever realize that? Perhaps you did… but perhaps you never wanted to face it… or perhaps you never wanted to acknowledge the sadistic and pathetic side to it. Parzania will make you realize that. And you come out of the hall wondering at the plight of those people who were the victims of riots, of monster-like mobs where men play out their darkest desires, laugh at the tortured victims- safely, without being accused of being sub-human, beastly, ghastly voyeuristic and god knows what all! For who remembers the identities of the perpetrators in that throng of beasts… Who cares about morality, humanity, sensitivity… the violence is for the cause of a community, for revenge, for justice… and EVERYTHING is condoned for noble causes such as those.

That World Up there

2006-06-06T17:26:00.000+06:30

That World Up There

Those fairies’ tales I used to be told,
Does their world actually exist?
I often wonder what lies beyond,
Hidden behind that mist!

The solitary wafts floating by;
Is the solitude illusory?
Perhaps that is where the Lilliputians dwell,
All moving about in a flurry.

Does Snowhite live happily with her prince?
Or does she lay poisoned till date?
Has Rapunzel finally found her love?
Or sheds tears over a gloomy fate?

Is the world happy out there?
Or are the bright-ends yet to arrive?
Of this world I’ve dreamt so much,
No longer do I want to stay naïve!

Shall travel far and find that Beanstalk,
Which must have shot up for sure.
Climbing it, the clouds I shall dock,
And discover the pristine world of lore.

‘Pristine’ did I say? ‘Pristine’ did I mean?
I think I’m now in a fix!
Cruelty of a king, malice of a queen,
And the ‘guilelessness’ of a witch who plays tricks!

If no difference between this and that,
Then why am I curious so?
Perhaps the mists, which obscure it all,
Have made me so ardent to know!

by Mridu Chadha, 3rd june 2006

The Master of them all- the Reshmaiya factor

2006-04-18T17:33:00.000+06:30

Have you ever tried switching the radio channel to check them all out?? uh stupid question... am sure you have. So well, what did ya find?? A melodiously nasal voice just reaches out to the very core of your heart! Shreya Ghoshal? No, its not her... its a male voice I'm talking about. Nah its niether Sonu Nigam nor its dear dear KK. It just sounds... very verrrry differrent... Yeah you guessed it right... am talking about The Rockstar of this age- Himesh Reshmaiya- the master of all!
You can't escape him, neither his voice. Whether you like it or not... you'd better learn to love him n his melodius voice... its the voice of our age!! wotsay???

Its perhaps a matter of shame that the kind of music our generation appreciates is either marketted by a raunchy n titillating sex- video accompanied by -'oooh aaah's as the background... or packages in this very crooning voice of the genius of our age. Genius i call him, not without reason for sure! Imagine yourself to be a singer who has dedicatedly learnt music for perhaps 4-5 years with rigorous practice so as to reach the very higher realm of music. You also happen to be an admirer of singers like Sonu Nigam, Shreya Ghoshal and Hariharan and don't mind the idea o entering the film industry considering that your talent has been appreciated not only in the layman's world but also the artistic one and you certainly know your worth. Here strides in a music director who gives music as pathetic as the sound-track of Tere Naam and to top it all decides to start singing himself. The whole affair does not end there. This man who certainly sings in a disgustingly gavvaar manner (offence meant to all those who appreciate his music) is appreciated by the Indian audiences and encouraged to come out with even more obnoxious albums! Its simply reflective of the degradation of the youth's aesthetic sensibility. They simply don't have too much to choose from. And what is actually melodious seems to be rather boring or perhaps belonging to an age much older than theirs! So what does it lead to?? That persevering individual who learns music either stoops to a level of singing in a weird manner so as to please the Indian audiences or simply renounces the world of light music. And yeah, if he happens to be a hardcore bhakt, he could perhaps start singing bhajans in kirtans or something of the sort.

The situation is quite pathetic and there is no one to blame but the audiences which have crossed the line between 'different' and 'bizarrely atrocious'! What sounds different does not necessarily sound pleasing. Moreover there is a difference between human voice and mechanical instruments. While artists take great pains to cultivate a beautiful voice, it should not be difficult for any lame person to produce a bizzarre sound or voice by contorting it. One should be able to appreciate the actual genius of people who can make their voices actually sound musical, sensitive and pliable as opposed to those many others who just try to produce a diffrent and unique sounding strain from their voice boxes!

When and how exactly do sounds become pleasant and unpleasant?? The answer simply lies in the kind of associations we form with those voices and sounds. Will you ever find the sound of splurging shit or muck pleasant?? or painful or anguished shrieks of children and animals for that matter?? The very imagery associated, the experiences associated with them is painful or unpleasant and its impossible for all but a sadist to appreciat such sounds. The sounds of gurgling water, raindrops, a lover singing a soft melody, or a person singing sensitively and in rythm in celebration of nature- these are sounds associated with pleasant situations or sensitive people and perhaps that is why they can evoke such strong emotions from one. Its the magic of music to recreate these 'magical moments', these lovely emotions and at times to empathise with situations you may have undergone, which actually increases the value of good music. And it is rather sad that the audience can empathise with a man who seems to sing as though he were weeping and whining away in order to irritate everyone. And to be sure... he quite manages to do that n my case!

Power, Manipulation and ... loads of things

2006-03-11T17:53:00.001+06:30

<>Hey guys! So far whenever I’ve gone ahead and typed out a blog entry, it has mainly been out of compulsion- compulsions of filling blog- space, meeting up to my friends tag requests and listening to people shouting at me with- “Mridu when are you going to put up a new post???” the result is of course right here. I have all of 8 or 9 entries and that is pretty sad. But hey I write this blog because I wanna do it… not coz others want me to!! So I’ll post only when I feel like… from now on no more reminders taken! Huh! Now that perhaps means that I am gonna lose out on audience…ughgh. <>

Anyways… it’s a wonderful weather out there… so go to your terraces guys! I can’t. I feel cold the moment the temperature falls even by a few degrees… but that’s me- pseudo Punjabi cum pseudo Bengali… <>

I often wish that I could read all the books I feel like ding so…but alas! My slowness always interferes in my decisions and I end up just completing my course books! <>

However I think my course books are pretty much interesting too and I think the Indian Literature included in our course- barring Tagore of course (I was so bored reading Home & the World that I ended up writing a dumb li’l poem on tagore). I think the most interesting one is Ghashiram Kotwal by Vijay Tendulkar. Its something…even the others are for that matter… which really makes you think and you can link it up with so many issues and powerful figures in the recent world history. Am sure many of you must have heard about the play. It is quite famous and one of Tendulkar’s best works. <> Ghashiram talks about how a man who wants to seek revenge on the people and Brahmins of Mathura (he has come from Poona) because they have ill-treated him, rises to power and becomes the Kotwal by appeasing the deputy of the Peshwa- Nana Padhnavis in order to vent his anger. And this he does so capitulating on the Nana’s lustful cravings by actually pawning his own daughter… ughgh I am using Ashima’s (our professor) words! Now its quite disgusting that a person should do that. But nevertheless… he rises to power… and takes revenge on the Brahmins of Poona for sure. He is an atrocious man who does not really apply any discretion before punishing people in, to be frank, quite a gross manner. The people of course get sick and tired of his senseless atrocities, which not only enforce law & order but create an sense of threat within the city. Obviously they complain against him to the peshwa and Nana gets to know about this. Having no use of the Kotwal considering the fact that he has already made his daughter pregnant and she has died during childbirth, he decides to dispose him off. Proclaiming Ghashi to be a tyrant, he asks the mob to get rid off him and stone him to death. There … that’s the end of Ghashiram Kotwal.

Its rather ironic that the very person who gives him the post of the Kotwal, orders for his persecution. And the people of course think that the Nana is a just man- their savior. Its called deputationist politics where the person in power uses certain institutions to carry out tasks for him so the common man does not so the real perpetrator of the crime… when the need arises … u remove the men at the lower rungs… and there … u pacify the people for some time and become their savior, protector, an upholder of their rights… <>

If you look at American foreign policy, it somehow seems just the same. In fact it’s a fact that most of the times people in power capitalize on the vengeance, which resides in the minds of certain people. Its this vengeance which acts as an instrument of agency for these top rung people. Hey do you remember Godfather where Don Corleone is telling his son… ughgh what was his name... about the utility value of such people… people who are possessed with hatred towards the world. They are the ones who are unsympathetic in their dealings and know how to get work done, being devoid emotions and sentimentality of any sort. <>

And if any of you remember your class 10 world history (am sure u’d remember tid-bits… I do remember bits too even though I had PCMB in my +2), you might as well recall that when Hitler started subjugating Jews to all sorts of inhuman atrocities, the Americans were quite unconcerned. He was a rather useful man who would keep communism at bay and and not allow the Soviet Union to rise in power. However it was only when they realized that he and the Soviet have a pact of mutual non-aggression and further when he seemed to have strengthened so much that he could be capable of conquering of the Soviet or the England and pose as a dangerous rival to the Americans that they declared war against Hitler. It was not Hitler’s atrocities which concerned them in the very least, nor his conquering of the Hungary or France or even his attempt at Soviet for that matter. Finally personal gain and associated manipulation strategy seems to be the basis of American foreign policy.

I think one can see the same policy at work when one sees the Bush attacks on Iraq. Obviously it is oil and not Iraq that matters to them. However they capitalized on- 1) the interests of the other western nations in Iraqi oil… thus they would support his administration. 2) The unhappiness of the people of Iraq itself against Saddam and 3) the fact that Iraq was not quite popular with UN members, and thus created a façade of their possessing chemical weapons! The UN can be said to be ‘run by the USA’ for all practical purposes. There… we have dear Uncle Sam getting away with almost every move and still proclaim itself to be a savior of humanity. Though I doubt too many people buy that now… <>
So it is rather sad that people can turn into tyrants, to be used by others who can see their irrationality and those people don’t actually realize that by being insecure and wanting to vent anger on the world, they can become victims of their own doings. And in their cravings for revenge, it is not they who gain, and nor is it the world and society for sure (which is perhaps the worst victim), but the manipulative chaps who want to exercise larger control and always gain in this struggle for existence, who actually always gain and do so at their expense.

20 random things about myself.... finally!!

2006-02-25T15:30:00.001+06:30

Hey its been a long time since I’ve posted just about anything but its time I started becoming regular… once a week at least!!

Sorry anchal , shubs… here goes your tag>>>

So well… am supposed to tell you 20 random things about myself….

1) Now I think you’ve already guessed the first one… yehh I start off with the negatives… its better to give a ‘good last impression’…. Now I can always try… So the foremost thing, which I would like to talk about, and which I would like to overcome too… is my IRRESPONSIBILITY!!! I’m one of the most irresponsible people in this world… the reason?? Well… I don’t have either the time… or even if I do and I really wanna do a thing…. I forget about it at ‘the moment’… and there I am … fed up of my stupidity!!

2) The second thing- I am hopelessly lost! This is what my friends tell me. I am told that I am lost in my own world…what exactly that world is…. I myself have no clue. But yeah… I am generally thinking of another place and another moment at a certain place, at a certain moment. So if you catch me unresponsive to your cries of calling… blame it on the unavoidable temptations of that illusory world! Though yeah… I can share a few of those wild dreams of mine which include business enterprises of all sorts… which benefit someone or the other in a certain way at least. Who and how, depends on what I’m enthusiastic about in that particular period (I was high on patriotism at a certain point of time… desperately wanted to contribute to the country’s GDP and help the poor people… & was so on airplanes at another)

3) I love chocolates. Yes that is bad. One puts on weight. And all that is just because of the momentary pleasure one seeks… nah- not fair. I think Hindu philosophy was quite right- ye sansar sab moh maya hai… hey theres one positive aspect to it though… I prefer dark chocs to milk ones… that means lesser sugar, see?

4) I am hopelessly slow. Akshay sehgal had to wait for half an hour extra… just watching me gulp bites of my sandwhich at subway… poor chap. Anyways… my slowness is more of a hindrance for me than for others. (I generally eat quickly… seriously)

5) I dislike assignments. Not because I dislike assignments per se, but coz I love researching. I research research and research. And by the time I am over with my research… the deadline for submission goes by. Of course that too has a silver lining to it… I get good results. (My slowness further compounds the situation though.)

6) I love going to the rest room. It’s my second abode. It quite irritates other people. But I think I’d rather not elaborate on this anymore.

7) I love eating out. That is bad coz I spend loads of money on food. But so what?? I need to sustain myself…

8) I find it tough to say no. I do it. But with this squirming sense, which makes the No appear even more rude n nasty, I think…

9) I say a ‘hi’ to almost anyone I meet … or know. That’s bad coz loads of people are quite discriminating with their greetings… and it’s not nice to not be given a reply to… remember that story we had in class 12- a certain someone’s malady (am 4gettin his name)?? I so identified with that guy. I have often said a ‘hi’ to a random passer by too… so you can imagine how acute my malady is…

10) Hey there are 10 more to go… this s unfair! Now I better start off with the salient aspects of my character… am sure u r wondering if there are any… (don’t worry… I’m racking my brains for the same)

11) Hey one more thing. I am scared of Abhinandan- our deb-soc president. The sight of him makes me quite stammer… that’s not good. But that’s not excessively bad either… coz I don’t look at him when I’m debating.

12) I don’t find it easy to praise myself. Hey now that is what is called ‘modesty’… and that is good… finally!! Though that quite puts the rest of the 8 points in jeopardy!

13) Nah don’t worry… here I come with the rest… I have a good voice. That is good coz even if I may not sing the song as well as it is originally sung- I am certainly not abused at when I sing.

14) I am a nice person. I insist upon that… coz that covers most of the moral qualities required of a person.

15) I enjoy walking and being with nature. That has twofold advantages. One- personal. I benefit my health by exercising and getting a breath of fresh air. Two- social service. I am a potential environmental activist.

16) I love learning new things. I love to know about different countries, cultures, technology, scientific phenomenon… just about anything. Its just pure fun.

17) I love visiting new places and seeing new things… a practical translation of what I last said. I wanna go and look at so many things in life and know about just about everything.

18) I love cleaning up things. It happens rarely. But when it does… things are spick n span and one can really ‘see the change’

19) I love helping people out – in any way possible. It quite makes me feel nice.

20) Here goes the last one… I love reading stories. That’s the best perhaps… coz I’m in English hons!!

21) This one was necessary- someday I’d love to write either an anthology of short sories or a couple of novels. It’s just an innate desire … and hopefully they shall be science fiction. I always wanted to pursue science… at least this ways I would remain connected to it… even if loosely.

Mommy's Poem

2005-10-22T00:23:00.000+06:30

Happiness

Happiness is a journey not a destination,
To be happy is friends, our very own decision.
Some can have everything, but not be happy,
Some can have nothing, but still can be peppy.

Some have it all, but still be greedy,
Some lose It all, and yet not be needy.
What we have today, we may lose tomorrow,
We’ll remember it with fondness, and a little sorrow.

So let us live it up, every little moment,
Cos life is after all, nothing but these moments,
Your glass may be half empty, but lower half is full
Any way you may look at it, life is beautiful.

Keep your palm open, and happiness will stay,
Close your hand around it,will slowly slip away.

The castles on the beach, may look beautiful and dainty,
They cannot stand the onslaught of the waves of the ocean,
But the home that you build with love and gentle care,
Your happiness lies there, that is your destination.

Mom wrote this poem a few days back. I think its pretty nice n inspiring so thought I should put it up.

My Previous Lives

2005-10-16T15:16:00.002+06:30

I’ve been having some weird thoughts lately…

Very few people have pleasure to know what they were in their earlier lives… a few bouts of insight and peeks into my diary have made me discover three of my previous lives.

One of them was that of a priest … now this is something I can conclude form the following diary entry which was written when my dog- Tike being his name, was sent away from our house (I think this was in class 7^th) because mummy thought he had become a nuisance (she had 2 others in the house anyways…). So here goes: -

“Dear God
I have to make a request to you. I know in life I have asked a lot and will ask more (God: hehe.. tellin’ me about that!!). some of my hopes and wishes you will fulfill while some you wont. Whatever you do I hope will be for the good of me, my family and my country (!!!!!!)

I do not expect you to fulfill all my wshes but this one I hope you will.

You know how much I love tike and truly speaking I do not myself know if I really do (hehe I never said that I am a very clear minded person…). But I do wish that he goes to a happy environment. I hope you forgive him of all his sins and send him to a good home (this just proves it …yeh it does). Please do whatever will be good for him. <>Tike is a very naughty dog and not very pleasing for the first time ( are u so??) but he has been endowe with a good presence of mind. He mostly knew about the rights and wrongs of his doings. I hope he will use his presence of mind in a good way. He did things that annoyed me a lot but I forgave him (u must consider a lunatic till now…). After all he is a dog (thank gawd I realized that!!). I hope he remains as naughty n bold as ever (eh?? like Mallika Sherawat??).”

So well… what are you planning … I am sorry … I am a dangerous lunatic… Don’t even attempt to send me to an asylum!!
Now the other previous-life is … as my mother says … I must have been Julius Caesar (Scissor actually…). Basically that is because I have this strange fetish for cutting all my clothes up … nyah nyah … I don’t believe in being a ‘minimalist’. That is certainly NOT my fashion statement. However I just have this inner craving to cut up all my sleeves, convert my jeans to capris and somehow hijack mummy’s shirts to be fitted into mine… so calling myself Caesar wont be a bad idea… ohk you are completely exasperated now!! I feel sorry…

However I cant help … I have to go on with the third one.

Yeah now this one is quite obvious and all my friends know this. I just love eating. The only tragedy being that I can’t possibly eat too much. My biological stomach size is unfortunately not conducive to the phenomenon- that is – eating too much- obviously. Anyways… so what exactly happens is that when I go out … I become this greedy mouse who wants to eat everything around and in her bid to prevent others from doing so even does the very same… yet as you can imagine, it just leads to an overloaded stomach which makes me want to roll on the restaurant floor and howl with pain… but don’t worry- I don’t do that (much to the relief of my li’l sister n my mommy). One can at least attempt to make a good –impression sometimes…

So basically people, as I mentioned before, this habit can only stem from the fact that I possess certain ‘mousy’ characteristics, thus helping me conclude that I certainly must have been one in one of my previous lives.

So there … you’ve had all three.

Just one last thing – I killed a pair of mating mosquitoes today!!! Anyone ever done that?????

Crush- An altogether unprofitable venture

2005-09-25T20:04:00.001+06:30

Being in ones teenage years one often hears about the utility of this social phenomenon- namely The Crush. It is basically a situation wherein you tend to get infatuated with a member of the opposite sex (most commonly), due to some physical feature, which attracts you or some innate quality of his, which of course, does not exist. And before I go ahead to present my personal views on the subject, I shall tell you some of the most common statements delivered in favor of it. Firstly, it is considered a healthy phenomenon. In our largely heterosexual world, homosexuality is almost a taboo. So when you declare that you have a crush on a guy ….you are establishing the fact that members of your own sex being very comfortable with you. (I remember being snubbed by one of my friends because she thought I was homosexual… I never had a crush. She actually cried with glee when I told her that I ‘like a guy’). Well, secondly it is proclaimed to be good way of killing time …ughgh. …Can’t people engage their brains in some intellectual stuff instead (uh …that goes for me too)?? My sister thinks that life without crushes is boring ….hmm…gimme a break!! And lastly, and most importantly, the crush is something that can later lead to a relationship …as in …you know what I mean….

Now ladies and gentlemen, I would like to prove all your notions about this apparently harmless venture wrong. And this I shall do by convincing you that this phenomenon never leads to the very ends you seek from engaging in it.

Crush my friends, is sheer waste of time. Anyone who has a crush inevitably wastes his or her time thinking and talking about that particular person. This time, as I pointed out earlier, could be utilized in activities that hold much greater consequence. I would also like to point out that it robs one of all those thoughts involved in planning for the future, preparing your Tuts and dabbling in extra-curricular activities.

The above-mentioned may seem very trivial reasons to some and I shall point out a few more-pertinent ones. A crush is something that endangers its very own purpose… that is – to get the one you like …to like you back. A genuine crush (in my case at least) makes one so infatuated with the other person that one stops being normal in front of that person. So basically you come across as a dumb flustering idiot in front of the guy or girl. You stop thinking rationally due to your emotional upheavals and start acting like a complete nut-case in front of that person ….so much so that instead of that person liking you ….you almost become obnoxious to him/her. He/she starts assessing you from head to toe …and as much as I know ….you certainly don’t fit into his expectations and desires….no matter how good you are. Oh yes, one more interesting aspect which overcomes many people in such situations is that they actually start changing themselves regarding trivial little things for that very person… who doesn’t care a damn. And strangely enough, they don’t seem to change those very things that their ‘crush’ finds obnoxious. And finally it turns into a cycle of unpleasant actions and reactions wherein everyone is eventually dissatisfied. And do you really expect that person to go around with you now?? I’m sure you yourself are quite pissed with him.

So ladies and gentlemen, we can clearly see that involving oneself in such activities as crushes which may on the surface seem to be trivial and harmless fun can lead to dire emotional consequences. And here I rest my case. …And establish very strongly- The Crush is the most unprofitable venture you can venture into.

NOTE: All above observations are first hand. No professional research has been carried out in the above subject by the author. The author has very innocent intentions and wants to save her friends from all the above mentioned. She is certainly NOT interested in all those cute guys which her friends will express disinterest in.

Unimorph

2005-07-23T14:31:00.000+06:30

Hey guys. I have to submit a paper in my college about the 'effect of peer pressure on the student psyche' and I have written this article for it, which I feel quite justifies the topic. Most parts of the article are quite true. However a certain incident at the very end did NOT occur. I am sure most of you might have guessed which book series gave me the idea for the title.... I might add that I never actually read any book from the Animorph series.

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I had already changed approximately 8 schools now and all of you present here must think that for such a person the excitement generally arising with the change of another school must be numbed. However this was not the case with Delhi Public School RK Puram. I had made an attempt before to get through it and had been unsuccessful. Therefore the prospect of having got through it now, sent shivers of excitement as well as anxiety through my spine. I had heard a lot about this school from my cousins, the large part of them either studying or having passed out from it. In fact one of my cousins had fed my gullible 6thy brain with a glorified version of the whole atmosphere. I don’t remember too much of the description but it ranged from descriptions of the modern buildings to those of the large expanses of open spaces with profusion of grass and dotted by trees. All in all, a blend of modernity and natural beauty. What enhanced this eco friendly feeling was the uniform, which was an outfit in gray and green or white and green, both combinations representing the same phenomenon.

Such was the extent of my awe with the school (now called the ‘Factory’). When I finally reached my school, I was, as you all must expect, tremendously disappointed. But I must say – my schoolmates were certainly very friendly. Within the course of time I made quite a few friends. They all liked me immensely (as I imagined), however they had a problem with the way I handled my exterior form, which consisted of the Uniform. I shall elaborate on that. They somehow had this habit of presenting themselves in an extremely scruffy manner, which for some weird reason, they considered very cool. Their shirts used to hang out (and this was done in a very proper manner…. it had to be up to a particular length), their sleeves were folded high up (they were finicky about this too), and their socks hardly showed. In the beginning the disapproving hints were thrown in a subtle way. But as they were deliberately not quite registered, my friends’ line of attack became increasingly straightforward. They never got tired of reprimanding (I reckon it’s a very pleasurable activity. …Perhaps I shall only experience it when I become a mother ….if I do that is). They pulled my shirt out, calling it an ‘undipsitish’ appearance, told me day in and day out how hot it was and how claustrophobic it felt in these tucked-in school uniforms etc.

Initially I showed a lot of resistance but along with time I realized their efforts had hardly diminished and I slowly started giving in, just so that they would cease their nagging. My shirt came out slightly, sleeves never rolled up, but they were quite satisfied.

As the months flied by and I developed a better equation with my bus mates and class ones too, I started thinking of them as very cool people. My appearances and behavior (as I reflect upon it now), became almost a mirror image of theirs, and I too wanted to be cool. My earlier ideas of wearing the uniform properly in order to give it due respect and thinking of myself looking smart in my ‘different but right way’ was very easily forgotten. Or to be more correct, was just dumped into my hippocampus (I have studied 2 years of biology and consider it my right to bore you with a li’l bit of the subject…. Hippocampus is the part of the brain, which converts short-term memory into long-term …for later use). Nevertheless, the point I want to make is that I shamelessly began to ape my friends.

In class 11 people from various schools from across the country joined our school, to be branded as dipsites. They of-course were unaware of the dress code of our school and could be easily spotted by their ‘dowdy’ looks. They wore their uniforms quite properly. And this irked many of my colleagues, who avoided most of them who failed to recognize the tradition. Many were coerced into it, just like me. There was this particular new admission in my class who had been ‘undipsitish’ despite having now spent a year in our prestigious institution. And I thought I must directly point it out to her. And so I went to her and quite calmly told her how she did not looked nice in the fashion in which she presented herself and must make an attempt to look more like us. It looks smarter that ways you see, I explained. She gave a frank reply, voicing her opinions on how she preferred the way she looked …howsoever unsmart though her appearances may be. When I pressed upon her, she quite politely said sorry and turned away. I never got a chance to bully her again. Or to be more truthful, I never had the courage to do so

Sarkar

2005-07-06T21:51:00.000+06:30

Moving frames, intense expressions, resounding background music, silence, murder with guns and Sabaa’s disturbing chatter; that was Sarkar. The story based on Godfather, yet so different, that not one moment one was reminded about the Don and his family. This is Ramu’s tribute to Mario Puzo’s famous book. And I have no doubt that it is nothing more than that. And nothing less.

It’s about Subhash Nagre, a gangster who believes that he has all the right to interfere in the ‘system’, go against it and help people out. If that means using guns, breaking bones, or making the elected government into a puppet show, so be it. He knows what he wants and what he desires. He knows that he shall achieve it and no one shall stand against him. When a certain someone does, he is eventually eliminated. Subhash Nagre spares no one – neither his foes nor his family; not if they are against what he believes.

Amitabh has just made a whole new Mumbaiya character, which is completely different from Don Corleone. Abhishek does remind you of the Don’s son and KK is a blend of the other two sons. In my opinion, Amitabh Bachchan and KK delivered the best performances. I have developed a new respect for Big B. He overshadows his much talked about role in Black. Abhishek was good too but nothing in comparison to KK and his father.

What was even more amazing was that there were hardly many dialogues. And just as the reviews said, there was not much need. A few new characters were added (if compared to the original). The plot was also morphed to suit the needs when and where required. There were a few killings, which made me squirm in my seat. O.k. now that’s an understatement. I closed my eyes and my ears to the amusement of Shaubhik who was having loads of fun looking at me (as much as he possibly could in the dark).

A good experience in all...yet left me quite baffled….

Throughout the movie were chants- Govinda Govinda Govinda…

So far I have not been able to figure out why. Puhleeeez tell me if you do…

Small Things Bright and Beautiful

2005-07-05T10:05:00.000+06:30

You must have heard umpteen quotations on the importance of that simple facial expression called smile. Yeah, it’s the little facial expression that can change lives. Now now, don’t think I’m going to dish out that same old sentimental crap. But c’mon you all agree that a smile can proceed towards a long cherished friendship, a caring relationship or even a romance! I remember reading this amusing article by Jug Suraiya. The guy had arrived at the airport after a trip to America and the effect of the country had not worn off. He sported a smile on his face when he entered the Airport lounge and he realized that his smile was not quite being returned by anyone. People looked at him suspiciously …who was this strange guy who smiled at everyone? He glanced upon the hard stares and realized his mistake. Back came the Indian scowl. Ah! Now people were at ease…. he’s from amongst us. One might think that that Mr. Jugs was exaggerating. O.k. now shall I reduce that scowl to a tight grim expression? Is that not what we people constantly display to any unknown person? Oh we are one of those busy reserved people who don’t mix with everyone and everybody!

Have you thought how much effort it takes to smile to an unknown person? Yes you might think I’m twisting quotations here and there. However its true and smiling away at a bunch of grim serious people is almost intimidating. This morning I decided to do just that. Have you seen the beauty in the faces of those people who are at peace with them selves? They have the most attractive aura no matter how physically ‘unattractive’ they might be. It is the kind of thing possessed by few and perhaps I was one of them (ah well…there are times one is just so happy). Well well, let me describe to you the efforts of today morning. Mridu Chadha walking merrily down the park lane. Comes fat aunty. Mridu looks at her hard, fat aunty looks back, and Mridu tries to contort her face into the closest semblance to a smile. Aunty looks at her. Thinks her mad and walks ahead (without smiling of course), making Mridu Chadha feel silly. (Am I sounding like the ‘hero’ of The Ailment?) Now she has a new resolve in her nut-sized brain and decides to give a huge Julia Roberts smile to the next person who walks up from the opposite side. This turns out to be a dowdy uncle ji who has a huge bear belly. I can do it. Yes, I can do it. Well here, I did it. No return …yeah…a suspicious look alike to the one Mr. Jugs must have faced (oh I’m quite sure). And me is completely embarrassed. My god! What kind of people are they? Nah nah, I wont accept defeat. No ways. Next walks along a little aunty …sweet little aunty I must add. “Hello aunty”. “Hello beta” (with a divine smile on her round mukhda). Yeah that was the first one. Three followed! That dowdy uncle ji refused to return my smile despite repeated efforts and I’m sure he reckoned that I was a member of some teenage robber gang! Aye that sounds lovely. Anyone interested in actually forming one?

So the morning went pleasant, as I had intended it to be. I’m sure you all must agree what a difficult task I had accomplished. But I shall give you a piece of warning. Never overdo those smiles. I remember a guy in my coaching classes used to sit with his face more tending towards the opposite direction of the blackboard. He smiled at anyone who caught his eye and since he sat right in front of me I had to smile at least 10 times in one class …and this was rather painful. And finally I became so pissed off that I stopped smiling at him.

So lets just transcend from The City of Scowls to The City of Smiles! Oh man …that sounded like a Chief Minister’s speech!

A Springy Morning

2005-03-25T10:48:00.000+06:30

<>Even the thought of nature and complete wilderness makes one feel so good if your living in a concrete jungle like Delhi. Being a nature lover, even the thought of a morning walk delights me. So in order to accomplish that task I actually got up at 5:30 am and dressed up speedily (yeh very quickly ….my mother wont take me otherwise). Our destination was the herbal gardens, which is not a very huge garden but a lovely place nevertheless.

Unlike most other walking parks this one is not very carefully planned and this is what makes it so appealing. it can be roughly divided into three sections , one with a gregarious quantities of flowers , the other with many Labelle herbs and the last one is currently being developed (there are heaps of manure and a few dogs o’er there ). The first part has a huge variety of flowers which obviously consisted of large and colorful roses ,pansies …uh and many more . then there were all sorts of herbs , fruit trees , bamboo plants , lotus(there was a small swamp area ) . Hey I even saw a koel for the first time…I have never seen one. I hope I’m not being too descriptive but the park was quite a welcoming change.

And the best part was the coconut water I had after that ,along with its malai…which I didn’t like much , more so on being told that it was rich in fats .you see the Keralites don’t put much oil in their food coz they use coconut . well well –that was a digression . All in all it was a fun filled morning…I lounged around alone in the park coz mommy was with her friends…but I just love being alone at times. Ah im going to watch Black today. Don’t worry I wont give review .I’m sure u must have read quite few already .

Here I go …have fun …go for morning walks and drink coconut water ….its very very healthy …trust me I am a bio student .now c’mon one must have some advantage of studying biology for two years. Oh n I forgot to tell u … to my amazement I recognized quite a few scientific names of the labeled herbs

As Destiny Must have Its Way

2005-03-24T11:15:00.000+06:30

With the exams over one has plenty of time to catch up with friends. After the chemistry exam we (ie Anchal , Akanksha , Ahona , Shubs n me) all decided to go to CP. While in the car, we were discussing the interesting hangouts at the place . I suggested that we must eat at an interesting place…that is …. Big Chills. Their food and the deserts are just awesome.

Of course the rest of my friends (Anchal n Akanksha who were already at CP) had other plans… that is Bercos ,CP.that would save them traveling time since we had decided to hang around at Jan path . However I truly believe that if u really want something u must work for it and u will definitely get it ….a man makes his own destiny…even a woman …so I resolved to convince them on the subject. Of course I did. Infact I was quite impressed by my marketing skills. We finally setoff towards the place. And as u may guess, I did not remember where the place exactly was. We found it in15minutes (thanks to my perseverance and sense of direction. …trust my words) . Well…guess what?? it was Waiting ….50 minutes .

“CHADHAAAA”

I knew I was DEAD ….ah …the rest of the evening …well no….about an hour or so ….i was boycotted ….i was not allowed to speak or give any suggestions …uh we didn’t go the bookshop too …and i was reminded of ‘The Rime of the Ancient Mariner'.
haah lifes funny ....at times one thinks that it takes revenge upon u ...trying to prove u wrong ....hey but thats what makesit interesting ...the challenges ,the successes , the failures...and as one of my acquaintances constantly declares, "such is life".

welcome

2005-03-22T12:33:00.000+06:30

hi i have finally opened my own blog......!!
so keep visiting
tata
mridu